[North-NV-Greens] Fwd: [GreenAllianceUSA] and a happy new year! ; -D

Sat Jan 1 19:23:36 PST 2005

At the bottom you'll note the perks the GP will 
offer later this year ;-)  Pax, Paul Etx

>
>JON CARROLL
>           
>           www.sfgate.com        Return to regular view
>------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>   JON CARROLL
>   - Jon Carroll
>   Friday, December 31, 2004
>
>
>   So many stories in the newspaper right now are 
>looking back on the dreadful and yet terrible 
>year 2004, with critical appraisals and 
>timelines and the usual hoorah. I decided to 
>step it up a notch and look back on the year 
>2005, so that we can all experience pre-need 
>nostalgia.
>
>   The Iraq elections: The January "Depressed 
>Voter Turnout Due to Carnage" election was 
>swiftly followed by the February "Give the 
>Sunnis an Even Break" election, followed by the 
>April "Hey, the Shiites Are the Majority; Is 
>This a Democracy or What?" election, followed by 
>the June "The Kurds Are Really Mad Now" 
>elections, followed by the August "Everyone Is 
>Resigning; Why Not Vote for Yourself?" 
>elections, followed by the November "The Hell 
>With It; Let's Elect an American" elections, 
>which finally installed Colin Powell as the new 
>president of Iraq. Powell pledged to "continue 
>the policies of my predecessors. "
>
>   He also announced that "we can see the tunnel at the end of the light."
>
>   Tsunami recovery: In March, Secretary of 
>Defense Donald Rumsfeld admitted that secret 
>underwater bomb testing "may have gotten a 
>little out of hand." He apologized to the 
>countries affected by the Boxing Day tsunami, 
>but stressed, "You test the bombs you have, not 
>the bombs you might wish for."
>
>   "It was a good exercise," he said. "We did not 
>know the things that we found out, and the 
>things we knew we still knew. That was a net 
>gain, knowing- wise."
>
>   Privatizing privatization: Saying that 
>"privatization is too important to be left to 
>the government," President George W. Bush 
>announced that Halliburton had been 
>subcontracted by the government to handle all 
>privatization efforts. The company pledged to 
>"work closely with Congress" to make laws to 
>accelerate the privatizing process.
>
>   Noting an "action gap" between the proposing 
>of laws and their enactment by Congress, 
>Halliburton said that it would behave as though 
>the president's proposals were in fact laws. 
>Vice President Dick Cheney noted that "the 
>cumbersome process of legislation should not be 
>allowed to slow the president's visionary 
>proposals."
>
>   The company's first official act was to invest 
>all monies in the Social Security trust fund in 
>Halliburton. "The American people's investment 
>will grow as we grow," said a spokesman for the 
>company. "And trust me, we are gonna grow."
>
>   TV trends: Shortly after the Fox television 
>network announced the completion of its newest 
>reality show, "Which Corpse Is My Mother?," the 
>National Board of Short-Form Humor Writers 
>announced that reality television was now 
>officially beyond parody.
>
>   This drastic step had last been taken more 
>than 30 years ago, when all announcements from 
>the Pentagon about the war in Vietnam were also 
>declared "beyond parody." Then, the triggering 
>mechanism had been the statement "We are 
>destroying this village in order to save it."
>
>   He lives, he lives!: In October, doctors 
>announced the transplanting of an entirely 
>different man into the body of Cheney. The man, 
>whose name was not revealed, was said to be 
>healthy and in his mid-30s. The White House 
>press office said that the "newish" vice 
>president would continue to vigorously support 
>the president's policies.
>
>   "Cheney" was said to enjoy racquetball, scuba 
>diving and sexual contact with multiple partners.
>
>   Demise of the Democrats: In August, the 
>Democratic Party voted to disband because of 
>lack of interest. Democrats currently holding 
>seats of power were offered their choice of the 
>Green Party (full dental, partial psychiatric, 
>$1, 000 deductible), the Libertarian Party (no 
>dental, no psychiatric, catastrophic coverage 
>only) or the Labour Party, headed by British 
>Prime Minister Tony Blair (national health, full 
>coverage, ugly offices).
>
>   Former Democratic presidential nominee John 
>Kerry endorsed the breakup. "Look, we couldn't 
>beat George Bush. What does that tell you?"
>
>
>
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>   It's a year too soon and not a moment too 
>late: a look back at the dear old year we liked 
>to call 2005.
>   And now, let us march bravely forward into 
>2006, secure in the knowledge that only one of 
>us is jcarroll at sfchronicle.com.
>
>   Page E - 20
>   URL: 
>http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2004/12/31/DDGAB9AEE21.DTL
>
>
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-- 
Paul Etxeberri

"Forests precede civilizations and deserts follow"   ---Chateaubriand